In memory of our two year anniversary doing this:
...I didn't drive at all on Labor Day! Whew! We managed to 'keep 4 on the floor', 'the shiny side up', and 'black on black' as my family tells us everytime we talk to them and they find out we're traveling on the road in a vehicle.
On to happier (and more current) topics of the weekend though! The theme of our weekend seemed to be this:
Yes, that's hot, sweaty, dirty, and working for food. No, that does not mean we hung out with a creepy old bum that liked to hang ten alot!
J and I went to the good ol' state of Okie-homa to visit my grandpa. Amazingly enough, I always find myself wannin' tuh tawlk lack this...after being there for more than a day. And! Should you ever get lost on the way to Oklahoma and in a tired stooper catch yourself asking this question at the gas station, 'Are we still in Kansas or did we pass into Oklahoma yet?' Just look around you for the answer.
Ginormous bugs crawling out of the woodwork outside? Check!
110% humidity? Check!
Count the number of vehicles around you...are at least 12 of them trucks? Check!
Of those 12 trucks, do the 12 drivers have a combined total of 1.5 sets of full teeth? Check!
Sorry my friend, we're not in Kansas anymore!
So we were there to help Grandpa do some work outside around his house so that he didn't kill himself...which he has been known to come close to doing before (falling off a ladder, with a chainsaw in hand, and shattering his ankle!). We spent Saturday and Sunday running a chainsaw and hauling the mess away. After Day 1 we had this burn pile created:
(notice the rusty old barrel)
After Day 2, our pile looked like this:
(notice rusty old barrel is no longer visible)
Okay, so the pics don't do our hard work justice in my opinion. That pile is about 12 feet high though! Here are a few more pics of us working hard:
That's Grandpa parking 'Ol' Blue'!
This is the after view...I forgot to take before's but as you can see, all those brown areas on the ground were covered in trees!
Moving along! In turn for all this hard work we ate the following (and my apologies to Kay and Grandpa if I forgot some of the deliciousness we had!): *disclaimer: All being homemade of course!
Buttermilk biscuits, buttermilk pancakes, eggs, omelets, cooked spiced peaches and apples, banana bread, t-bones, salad, homemade jellies, hamsteaks, bacon, garden tomatoes, Senor Salsa's...mmm, rotel and cheese dip, homemade salsa, blueberry sponge cake, ice cream, margaritas, beer, juice, coffee...I'm sure I am forgetting a few...but good LORD! We packed in the homemade YUM day after day! I'm sure I've gained 10 pounds...I'm too scared to look! We also took home okra, pickles, jams, and banana loaves with us. It's not a trip to Grandpa's unless you leave with deliciousness as well!
Have you ever had one of those Oh.My.God embarassing moments? You know, like when you accidentally walked in on two co-workers having an affair on the conference room table? Or when you got busted snooping for Oreo's your brother-in-law hid from you? Or that very terrible time you could have swore it was just gonna be a fart? (Not like I'd know about any of these!)
(snicker, snicker) Well now! Heeeeeere's a story for ya! Let me paint you a picture. It's Saturday morning, J is long done with his shower, wide awake, and sipping coffee with Grandpa in the living room. I on the other hand am peeling my eyes open, crawling out of bed, sleep showering, and getting ready to throw on some ragged work clothes whennnn...what's this? Oh shit! Noooooo waaaaayyy, I couldn't have! No underwear!?!?! You.have.got.tobe.kidding.me. I packed not one sole pair of undies! Now, I'm not one for being shy nor am I one for a little commando action if need be...but we were getting ready to go get all hot and sweaty...and that's just wrong! So what do I do? Go scavenging of course! I immediately think of looking in J's bag...'Crap! He doesn't even OWN a pair of tighty whiteys...let alone would have packed them for the weekend if he did. And I can't wear boxers...all I have for work clothes is spandex yoga capri pants!' My throat starts to tighten, my stomach is filling with rocks, I'm starting to sweat, panic is setting in. I spy the dresser in the corner of the bedroom. 'Hmmm...wonder if it is in use or not?' I open the first drawer, it's my grandpa's hankies. 'This could be promising.' I open the second drawer, socks and boxers. 'Warmer.' Low and behold, laying there in drawer no. 3...tighty whiteys! (Now, here is where I tell my audience to stop reading if you are actually my Grandpa...whom my dumbass gave this blog address to while there!...or keep reading, know this is a confession, and NEVER talk about it again!) I pick up what looks like a perfectly pressed pair of brilliant white Hanes...size 32! 'Sweet! They might fit me!' (I stress this last thought to convey to you that my grandpa is a VERY clean man and I have no qualms or doubts in my mind that perhaps he hasn't even worn these at all...right???...they look that new!) I'm standing there, desperate, naked, and in a hurry by now. Without having to make my mind process what I'm about to do, I quickly snatch up the undies, shove my feet into them, and go to yank 'em up as quickly as possible! Urrrrrrrrrr-ch! Screeching halt! 'Shit! My fat thighs and those little chicken leg size 32 holes are not compatible!' Right.then.and.there. J opens the door! Talk about a deer in headlights!
J: What the hell are you doing?
Me: Get out of here! Shut the door! Go!
J: What the hell are you wearing?
Me: Sigh! What's it look like!
J: Why don't you wear a pair of my boxers? (By now I have crammed them up on me, the waistband is under my boobs, and my fat thighs are bulging out the bottoms...pretty picture to paint...I know!)
Me: No, I can't becuase I don't have my work jeans. Now, go back out that door and pretend this never happened!!!
J: What are you going to do with them when you're done?!?!
Me: I haven't got that far yet! LEAVE!
Needless to say, the tighty whiteys came home with us. Sorry about that grandpa.
So, I also bought some of these over the weekend:
I also have confirmation that I must have rolled around in this as well:
Leaves of 3, leave 'em be! It looks like Poison Ivy gave me a hickey on my neck! Bleck!
And that was my fabulous Labor Day Weekend! How was yours?
1 comment:
Good thing you were there with Grandpa after the Sooners game... he probably needed cheering up.
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