Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Olympics What?

Dear work, husband, dog, 'Edward', laundry, sleep, loved ones I should be calling on the phone and catching up with, workouts, dishes, and blogs that I stalk on a daily basis:

I promise to return to you all just as soon as the Olympics are over.  But until then, I am using my new HD antenna to watch the Olympics (in HD! for free! bitches!).  During this time I will probably be screaming, yelling at the TV, waking up J (on accident), drinking a beer, and commentating Curling with the TV on mute (because if you've done it on a Friday night with friends, you know how entertaining it can be!).

I will be back soon though with the full ferocity, wildness, bloodthirstiness (seriously, it was listed as a synonym!), turbulence, and barbaric splendor (I can't make this stuff up people!) as when I left you.  Except for maybe the laundry and dishes...  And the bloggers that I stalk will really never know I left them!  ...And I was never all that 'ferocious' with my workouts anyways.  Well, and really there's no 'splendor' in my job(s)!  Sleep...ah-ha!...yes, you - sweet glorious sleep!  I rock at that (just ask J!  Tonight we talked about how if it were an Olympic sport I'd have the upper hand fo' shiz!) and will never let you down least not for another 4 years!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

All Things ♥'ed On Valentine's Day

Karma Ale : 'Good beer happens to good people'
♥ Taking care of my sweet (sick) valentine and loving him even more
♥ The old fashioned valentine I scored for J that let him know how 'swell' he was
♥ Homemade Bierock Casserole
♥ Winter Olympics on TV ***
♥ Creme Brulee**
♥ Our sweet puppy doggy curled in a cuddly ball
♥ Hot rice bags on our feet
♥ Chamomile tea
♥ Lazy winter day on the couch watching movies
♥ Yawwwn...going to bed early; loving my life

*** Might I just add that I am watching the Olympics in HD on my $38 HD Antenna without any cable installed in our house!!!  I freaking LOVE it!  We have all the major networks and like 5 PBS stations to boot!  Seriously people...$38.00 freaking dollars!  Go buy yourself one right now, cancel your cable subscription, and thank me later!

** It's been a Vday tradition to make Creme Brulee for J every year.  However, it must be the fact that he's ill that caused it to flop on me this year.  Or the fact I made it with only about half the actual ingredients the recipe called for...and I was drinking...and a few ingredients may have been dumped in the wrong bowl and cooked when they weren't supposed to.  They are in the trash now!  Karma: Good Brulee Does Not Happen to Good People!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Go Girl!

Okay, so I am not one of those people to support random products via my blog...unless of your course your name starts with an 'A' and rhymes with 'mazon'!  (I heart you Amazon!)  However, I must post this product that I ran into over at Divine Caroline because A) This is the most amazing thing ever and B) Any of you who know me well would know that I NEED this!

It's called the Go Girl and looks like this:
Below are the details from Divine Caroline:
Female Urinary Device

I might not want to be a man, but sometimes when I'm faced with dirty, disgusting, or worse, non-existent, toilets, I think it'd be handy to be able to pee like one! You Go Girl is a feminine urination device/pink silicone cup-and-spout thingamajig that you place against your body (forming a seal), and then ... well, you just aim and pee! No crouching or balancing required. It fits easily in your purse, pocket, or glove compartment, and you can dispose after use or clean and reuse.

So now that you all know I want one of these, you might already be assuming my issues with copping a squat.  It started out one day on a family road trip to go visit Big Brutus when I was like six and I had to go pee while on a hike in the woods.  My mom peed first to show me how it works and then helped position me in the correct 'cop-a-squat' stance.  I remember holding onto her (probably mistake #1) and asking her if I looked good to go.  She hesitated (mistake #2), but said yes (mistake #3)...and then I pissed all over myself...and my pants...and my underwear...and my socks...and my shoes.  We ditched the undies and socks in the woods and I rode home damp and smelling my pee.  I've been scarred ever since then.  The few feeble attempts I've only recently starting making at getting this cop-a-squat thing down resulted in a need to walk like a mile into the woods in hopes that no one would catch a glimpse of my insaneness.  Because once I pick a location, I then take off one shoe, pull my leg out of my pants and undies, toss them over to one side, throw my shoe aside so I don't pee on it, and then do my thing.  Now, I have yet to get any on me or my clothes, but as you can see, it's quite time consuming and embarrassing as hell.  I just get so panicky and sweaty when I find myself in a situation that I know will eventually involve peeing outside...which is often since we like to camp and drink!  Oh, what I would give for a Go Girl in these situations!  Hell, I'd probably flaunt it as if I had a boy part!  I could just see myself keeping the Go Girl in my undies with the little pink tip hanging out of my zipper...oh man!!!...I could go in the woods Whenever.I.Wanted!  Plus, if I had one of these, I could officially have a 'collection' of portable restroom devices since I already have a fold-able camping toilet: (Thanks mom for always trying so hard to get your little girl peein' in the woods!)
                                                           Foldable Toilet - Portable Camping Toilet