Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I'm a slacker!

Once again, I have about 15 posts that I started, saved, and then never got excited enough to finish and post.  I swear I've been trying though!  However, I thought it might be nice to try and do some quick recaps of events to catch everyone up in our lives.  So here are some recent conversations I've had:

Me: I'm naming mine Porky
J: Mine's named Brisket
(We are the proud owners of two baby steers!  We worked for.ever. on a fence around J's parents' pasture and so far it has held up and kept them in.  They will be fattened up until the fall and then sent off and 'magically' turned into yummy steaks for us.)  (My apologies to my veggie only friends!)

J: Unlock your car
Me: It is
J: No it's not, where are your keys?
Me: (Oh shit!  He's NOT gonna be happy about this one!)  Are they sitting on the front seat of my car?
J: *&%@#%$*!@&^
(That happened about 1 minute before we had to leave for KC this past Saturday!  It's the second time since we've lived here I have done it!  Luckily I'm in cahoots with our neighbor that owns the car shop in town and he rescued my keys in like 10 seconds flat.  AND, super bonus, he didn't charge us!  I made him brownies this morning and delivered them fresh out of the oven...go me Martha!)

Me: (answering door in my PJ's...again...but this time they were 'for real PJ's')  Can I help you?
Radar: Yes, I'm with the census....
(He was baaaaa-aaaack!  Radar dropped us another visit because they didn't receive the census form I filled out the first time!  Go figure...)
Me: You do realize this is not Bogue, KS right?  Bwah-ha-ha!!! (He didn't get it!)

Me: OMG!  It's so frickin' hot in this house!  I'm sweatin' like a fat kid at summer camp!
Me: OMG...if you don't turn on that AC right now I'm gonna FREAK.OUT!!! (PMS'ing)
Me: Jesus, this house is turning into a great weight loss program!  Sweety, I've lost 4 pounds this week!  Talk about sweat equity!
(Our (rental) house sucks...we went from $200.00/month gas bills to keep our house at about 60 degrees this winter to our one window unit A/C that keeps our house at about 89 degrees!)

Me: Hey guess what?!?!  I celebrated my one year anniversary today at work!!!
(Uh, that was last night!  Woot Woot!  One year since our move from the big city and they have yet to find me naked, in the fetal position, in the middle of a wheat field, rocking myself!  GO ME!)

Me: (to my 'Leadership Coach')  We can change that first statement I made about how I make assumptions all the time (I got better) to 'Kristy is an impatient person'.  (I had a self-discovery on the phone with him!)
Greg (my coach): LOL!  Some might consider that a weakness, but you know that can also be a great strength (he's so nice all the time!).
Me: Ha!  Next time someone asks me about my strengths then, I'll just say I'm impatient, I make assumptions, I procrastinate, and am late...ALOT!  Now let me tell you about my weaknesses!  (puh-lease!)

Said to Justin over the past two months:
Me: Guess what?  I hit a cat today on the highway.
Me: Guess what?  I hit a rabbit today on the highway.
Me: Guess what?  I hit a pheasant today on the highway.
Me: Guess what?  I freaking ROCK!  I just tied my bumper back on with bailing twine I found in my car while pulled over on the side of the highway.  Thanks for sticking that pocket knife in my glove box!  Damn pheasant!
Me: Guess what?  I'm a terrible person!  I actually tried to avoid it, but I hit a baby turtle on the highway today.  (I don't freaking rock!)
(I need a cattle guard on the front of my 1999 Nissan Altima!  Here's the deal though...I paid $2000.00 cash for it and when J hit the dog (he started this whole dead animal curse!) we got $1800 back from insurance on it.  The speedometer and odometer work intermittently so the mileage is not accurate...and my bumper is still being held on by bailing twine.  I fixed the squeaking in my removing the hub caps.  Oh, and a chisel won't even pry off all the bugs on the front worked for the fur though!  Needless to say, I made my money back on the beast and will be driving that thing until it dies!!!  Or until we have kids...and decide I need to drive something more durable for smashing into animals on the highway with!  Something with a cattle guard!)

That's all I can think of that's rattling inside my head right now!  Maybe now I can start posting more often!


No comments: