What I Can't Put Down Sunday...

…other than CAFFEINE!!!

I am back on a reading kick! Okay, okay…and I don’t mean my addiction to People Magazine and the all the ‘trashy Hollywood gossip’ as I call it. Did you hear that Rihanna took Chris back AND that there is talk of Jon and Kate splitting? Well, not too long ago, I finished ‘Sex Lives of Cannibals’ by J. Maarten Troost. My brother got the book for me for Christmas, and upon first glance of the title, I speculated at what was bound in the pages following. I thought it a bit awkward for my brother of all people to give me a book about the sex lives of ANYONE really, let alone cannibals. AND, talk about awkward when you bring the book to your in-laws house to read. However, it is a hilarious book that I highly recommend for some entertaining, yet historically accurate reading about one man's stay in a tiny remote nation in the South Pacific. (I will disclose no more in hopes to peak your curiosity and make you click on the link above to go to Amazon right now!)

Well, oddly enough, the next (and current) book I'm reading is called 'Between a Rock and a Hard Place' by Aron Ralston. Why odd you ask? Well, I just happened to pick this up at the last minute from the library one night when I remembered a co-worker telling me about it. I would say it's a safe bet that my brother has already read this book, in fact, even safer to bet he owns it! So, what are the chances of me first reading a book he purchased for me and then randomly picking up this one that I know he has read too!?!?

Anywho, this book is seriously distracting me from the rest of the world! I can't put it down and when I'm not reading it, I can't stop thinking about it. It's a true story written by the guy that was out canyoneering when he fell off a boulder and got his hand smashed between the canyon wall and the boulder and ended up having to amputate his own arm with a dull multi-tool knife to save himself. I know that sounds a bit gory, but it's an intriguing book! Plus, I'm training for a half-marathon (week 3) in June (again...but this time I am seeing a chiropractor!) and you wanna talk about encouraging. There's something about this book that makes me want to keep my training up and pushes me to succeed. Hmmm...not to mention, it makes me really cold at night when I read it because he reminisces through out the book about all his mountain hiking adventures in the snow. shiver. Anywho, I've decided I'm just going to start reading books about people's adventurous lives and tales to keep me motivated and excited about what I am training for in real life. Plus, this website is the adventures of J&K and currently I have no 'adventures' that are blog-worthy...yet. (Just re-read that part...DISCLAIMER: No, I'm not pregnant!)

Well, I'm off to go read some more! Yessss!

Peaking at Panera

Woo hoo! I get every other Friday off where I work, and this Friday off couldn't have come on a better day! It is GORGEOUS outside! I have definitely been bitten by the Spring Bug! Well, while out running errands today, I decided to stop into Panera for a light salad (it's Friday...no meat). To my dismay, the patio was chalk full of people that didn't deserve to be sitting on the patio more than me, but I was able to find a sunny table for two near a window. I plopped myself down and proceed to munch my salad.

This is when it occurred to me that Panera is actually a pretty happenin' place during lunchtime...AND is great for people watching and eavesdropping!

Ensuing 'Peaks' at Panera today:

1. Mom, Grandma, and bratty kids are eating near me. 6 year old Lukas decides to be a good little boy and clean the table off for mom and grandma who are so engrossed in talking about home decor that they hardly notice his presence. Lukas and his little sister proceed to throw the food scraps, plates, metal silverware, and newborn baby's 'binky' into the trashcan seemingly unnoticed. They then proceed to turn the trashcan area into some sort of game to see who can stick their heads into the trash the furthest to see inside. Guh-rooooosssss! I contemplate informing the women of what is happening and then realize that they don't deserve to be notified. What, even remotely decent parent, would allow their children to play, quite literally, IN trash cans at restaurants???? I turn my attention away immediately!

2. I look outside at the beautiful day, imagining the birds chirping that I really should be hearing but can't because some Prairie Village Fraternity version of 'Desperate Housewives' hover over all the tables while hugging each other and kissing cheeks. GAG! That's when I notice an old, OLD man walking across the parking lot to come eat. He has on black pants that are too long and about 3 sizes too big. His brown checkered suit coat is also hanging off him. His solid, bright, red tie hangs off his neck and is about 7" too long. His hair is unkempt and he his pilfering through his wallet as if he is counting his money. As he approaches nearer, I realize, there is no money in his wallet at all. I can't decide if he is for real or a bum. Odd I think to myself, but in this day in age and what, with the economy and all..who knows!

3. How depressing I think! I turn away from the old man. I think to myself that if he is a bum, I don't want to make eye contact with him and have him come begging me for money. I turn my glance away and notice the 18 year old looking girl walking up from her brand new Mercedes. She's wearing an ungodly hideous outfit! She has the 'skinny' pants on (I don't care who you are or how much they cost you...I will NEVER warm up to the idea of these!), Mary Kate & Ashley sunglasses, purple suede boots, and a skin tight white t-shirt that is extra long with NO BRA on! GAG(...again...it was a rough lunch, let me tell ya!) She walks up to an old man, seemingly her father, and as they walk in together he attempts to put his arm around her for an awkwardly posed hug. She rolls her eyes at him, shrugs away, and checks her cell. Typical I suppose nowadays! What are our teens coming to?!?!

Well, those were my ventures at Panera today. Maybe tomorrow I will post about my eavesdropping while using the computer at the library! (shudder!) I'm off to go play in the sun!

What Wallpaper (aka Devil Paper) has in Common With the Following Items:

1. Drinking: It started out as a nice relaxing way to start the process of stripping paper and winding down from a day's worth of hard work. However, when I find myself craving a beer just telling people about the Devil Paper...I start to wonder if it's turning into a problem!

2. Turrets: Yesterday, I found it easier to shout a string of 3 or 4 cuss words every time something bad happened to make the pain go away. I was batting about 200 words per hour!

3. Cuss Word Alphabet: The devil paper led me to create a new game...the name really says it all...if not, read #2.

4. The new nickname 'Sparky': Metal scraper, Wall outlet, any questions! My good ol' 'Reliable' scraper somehow missed the paper and went flying into the side of the outlet. It got bent and melted, a chunk of it is missing now, and sparks flew all over the extra super dry wallpaper on the floor. Thank God for wooden handles!

5. Thoughts of burning the house down as a plausible alternative: See #4

6. Blood: My knuckles are rubbed raw! Between scraping them on the walls on accident, sticking them in buckets of hot soapy water,and washing them 80 times more than normal...I now have 'knubbles'!

7. The Devil: self explanatory!

What Drinking and Wallpaper Have in Common...

Update on the wallpaper post. Jerry's halo has since been tilted and his wings broken. After much research and a multitude of conversations with Ace Hardware employees in the paint department of 3 different Ace's, we realized that texturing was only covering up a problem with a problem.

This is where I just want to take a quick moment to let everyone know that Ace Hardware Rocks! We went to 3 different ones, and each person we talked to in the paint department was an old man who was a retired professional painter. They had us convinced by the end of the conversation that we could do this and to not give up hope. I'm sure that Vic, our favorite Ace guy, was taken aback a bit by us. I can only assume he had never heard a young couple in their 20's say to him, 'Thanks a lot Vic! You have talked me out of 'accidentally' burning down our house now!' And he was the first one to then jokingly point us in the direction of the Lighter Fluid!

Well, we have now decided to leave that wallpaper as is and prime and paint over it. Why you might ask? Because this entire last week we have done nothing but strip wallpaper. As in ONE wall in one room. It all started last Sunday when we decided to crack open a few brews while stripping paper. It seemed to be much more enjoyable and we even cranked up some tunes on the radio and played 'Country Singer Alphabet'. Monday night rolled around and as I continued to attempt to get the devil paper off, I realized that a beer sounded good. My body was starting to equate stripping wallpaper to beer! Once again, I cracked one open and life was better. the paper still came of in small pieces, but I at least wasn't cursing it. Tuesday, I was in the mood for Mexican! Justin made homemade burritos and so I went down the street and bought Sangria! Next thing you know, I was drinking Sangria and.....stripping wallpaper. So here we are, a week later: a bottle of sangria and a case of beer, and ONE small wall in ONE small room is wallpaper-less. It is also chalk full of dents and gouges where the paper took of everything, including the backing to the sheet rock. Uggh! Needless to say, we are priming the rest and painting over the wallpaper. I don't think my body could take any more stripping of wallpaper...nor my liver!

Death to the Wallpaper!

Justin and I are in the process of fixing up his house. And by fixing up, one might think major renovations, construction, interior decorating.....WRONG! Let me paint you a picture of what I mean by 'fixing up'. The prior owner was a little, old, single lady who apparently had a lustful relationship with wallpaper. (I shutter just typing that dreaded word!). I went to bed last night and my thumb was tingling from pulling so much paper. This morning, I felt like my fingers were bleeding. It was easier for me to use my nails opposed to a scraper and I am paying for it now.

Oh wait, I'm supposed to be 'painting' a picture yet...

We have a foyer with country blue and white striped wallpaper. A hall with squares that have geese and hearts wallpaper. A living room with an indescribable border that come to find out had an even more indescribable border underneath. Each room (3 of them) has wallpaper on the bottom half, then a border in the middle and then a different wallpaper up top. These consist of stripes on the bottom, gaudy flowers on the border and then some variation usually of paisley pattern up top. GAG! (I just threw up a little in my mouth!)

Thank goodness we had some added help this weekend! Justin's parents came up for the weekend to help us out. Thank you, thank you! AND, even more fun, we got to have a real sit down dinner at the dining room table with them. They are only the second ones to have done this at the house. (We don't 'entertain' for dinner normally and we JUST NOW no longer have roommates either...I guess you could say we are finally becoming 'big kids'...or dare I use the 'g' word...'Grown-ups'!!!)

We have painters in and out of the house for the last couple of days giving us bids on painting the whole inside of the house...literally, EVERY room! The last one, an ornery old man named Jerry suggested that instead of stripping paper why not spray on a texture to the wall and then paint over that. When those words came out of Jerry's mouth, I looked over at him with my bleeding fingers, nails ruined, and old gluey paper stuck to my butt and then it happened! Angels appeared out of nowhere! They flew down with a halo in their hands and placed it upon Jerry's head. Trumpets played in the background and then a few more angels fluttered down singing a high pitched, 'Ahhhhhhh!!!'. God LOVES Jerry!

So, as this wallpaper (shudder) peeling party proceeds, and the sheet rock is getting more and more gouged because the lady didn't size the walls, and our hands bleed a bit more, we are seriously contemplating Jerry's bid.

And that sums up our weekend!

Just a Few Things I'm Loving Right Now

Just thought I'd let you all in some secret things I am adoring right now:

1. My 7" Santoku Knife that my brother and sister in law got us for Christmas! This thing will cut through anything, 'like butta!' Tomatoes cringe, potatoes cut themselves when they see it coming, and my garlic pleads with me, promising to never make my hands stinky again!

2. My Cuisinart Electric Pressure Cooker.

So far, this thing has cooked any of my vegetables from green beans to carrots to potatoes to a PERFECT...hmmm...perfect what? Perfect texture? Al dente? Well, whatever the word is for perfectly cooked veggies, this does it. Not to raw, not to mushy! It does stews, meats, chicken, and more! So far, the longest cook time has been 8 minutes! 8 MINUTES! Talk about quick and easy! (Once again, thank you to the brother and sister-in-law for this gift as well!)

3. My Zune MP3 Player and the long lost MP3's Justin found backed upped on his friend's computer that we thought he lost years ago! I take this thing everywhere with me. Some of you may be wondering, 'Is she crazy? Why is she boasting about an MP3 Player?' Well, it's been a very long 2+ years since my first one broke and so now I'm like a kid with a new toy! Thanks to my sister and brother-in-law for this little gift.

4. I guess from reading the posts above, I must include as #4 that I am loving MY FAMILY! Ha! If it weren't for my fabulously older (and wiser) brother and sister, I would not be secretly loving anything! In honor of them, I came across this pic from forever ago!

That's me on the left, then my brother Bill, and then my sister Shelly. I must say we actually all look related in this picture...partially due to the fact that we all look really crazy! What happened is that we were posing for a picture at my Grandpa's house and at the last minute, Bill (who had his arms around us) grabbed us and violently starting tickling us! This caused us all to drop our chins, open our big mouths, and laugh...which is apparently the 'missing link' pose to tie us together!

Well, that's what I'm secretly loving this week!

*gasp* What is this?...

...an award? for me? Yippee! One of my favorite sayings is, 'it's the small things Pete.' (Sometimes I call Justin, 'Pete', for reasons unbeknownst to me any more. We seem to disagree as to the origins of the name but my story is that it started with 'stinky', then went to 'stinky feet', then on to 'stinky pete' because it rhymed, and then shortened to 'pete')...however, I digress.

It's the small things such as this virtual award that really just make my day! I must thank my very good friend Beth Ann over at Life With Us In KS for tagging me with this special award, especially since she was the force that pushed me off my duff into getting this blog started. Cheers to you BA!

So here is the deal. I am supposed to pass this on to 6 other beautiful bloggers as well as tell you all beautiful readers 6 things that make me happy.

First, the formalities:

1. Bryn over at Newlywedisms by Bryn

2. Jessica at The Everyday Adventures of Me in the City

3. Design*Sponge

4. jannypie

5. pixieprincss at Green Thoughts

6. 'd' at All Things G&D

Now for the fun stuff! 6 things that make me happy:

1. Justin and planning our wedding...and not so much the planning part (I procrastinate like something TERRIBLE...ask the person that gave me this award...a month ago!)...but more the fact that every time I do sit down to 'plan' it, I get all happy knowing we will spend the rest of our lives together forever...sigh (I had to, it was gushy...it deserved a sigh).

2. My 'kiddies' as I call them. That would my niece and nephews: Madison Grace (almost 3); Jude Xavier (2...and my godson!); Kai Daniel (just turned 1).

3. Trying out a new brew and LOVING it! To name a few memorable ones:

- Old Speckled Hen (Props to my brother for this one. We had it at Churchill's Pub & Grill in Chandler, AZ with our 'quintessentially British' Christmas dinner there. I highly recommend both.

- Jack Whacker's (It's a nice wheat beer brewed at Tommyknocker Brewery out of Idaho Springs, CO. And while you're there, you must eat at Beau Jo's Pizza...thanks to Uncle Tom for that one!)

- Of course, I must give some love to the locals and mention Boulevard Wheat as well as O'malley's Festival Ale from O'malley's Pub in Weston, MO.

4. My down comforter in the winter...I don't know what I would do without it!

5. Anything that is purple really.

6. My puppy doggy! It's a love, hate relationship really...but for the most part she makes me happy. Okay, so I did catch her drinking water out of the toilet this morning and I do make fun of her for being deathly afraid of the Vick's humidifier, but she is a good snuggle bug...and adorable!

Reasons to Like My New Job

This week marks the first week at my new job and I am loving every minute of it. I thought I would post a list of reasons why I like it so far:

1. The bathrooms are exceptionally clean and somehow acoustically built as such so that you cannot hear much in the other stalls...you never know when a poo attack will hit you!

2. My second day on the job and I was already taking a 3-hour road trip with my coach, Stephanie, and co-worker, Mike. Once we got to the job site, I met a fourth co-worker, Rick. Rick is the very 'vivid' person in the pic below. They are all a GREAT group of people though (minus the smurf suit, Blublockers, belt, and yes...that's a dog leash around his chest that he has fashioned, rather cleverly I might add, into a strap for his clipboard). (I am on the far right sporting my 'Doc Marten' boots that I now call my 'on site work boots' and are from like 1999 and the oh so beautiful hard hat!)

3. People that actually talk to you AND seem to care what you have to say.

4. Said people from #3 that ask you to eat lunch with them in the cafeteria as well.

5. Said people from #4 that are so fun they managed to get a stranger to hug them in the elevator on the way to lunch.

6. Every other Friday off and jeans days!

7. Wonderful coaches, mentors, supervisors, and co-workers who are eager to help you learn and succeed!

I think I'm going to be okay here!

The Two Year Mosaic is Done!

Okay, so I stopped by this mosaic shop two years ago on a whim one beautiful fall Saturday feeling rather creative after having just sipped on some java at Starbucks while reading a book and basking in the sun. And by 'reading a book', I really mean eavesdropping on a conversation two artists were having over their friend's painting.

Artist 1: Oh my god, did you see what she tried to show last night?
Artist 2: Horr.id

Artist 1: Tell me about it. And she says she's an artist!

I couldn't help it. They were talking loud and that conversation soon led into how much they drank at said art show, then what they did after said art show, and really it goes down hill from there! None the less though, it made feel...'inspired'!

Okay, so I wonder into 'Mad About Mosaics' to check it out and discover a rockin' world of art I never knew about. It was love at first sight really! The freedom of breaking glass into little pieces, cutting it, making something out of nothing, watching it transform yet again once you grout it. LOVE. IT. So I decided to start a 16" X 16" landscape for my brother and sister-in-law as a Christmas gift for them. Easy enough right?

Now, looking back on the grandiose idea, I do admit that perhaps I bit off more than I could chew for it being only my second piece and all (I did do a stepping stone for Justin's parents prior to that, but it was an outdoor piece). But I am generally of the 'Go Big or Go Home' philosophy when it comes to arts. For instance, I took up knitting over crocheting because someone once told me it was harder to learn how to knit and because making a sweater intrigued me more than a pot holder (I have since learned they should be equally respected and that my 'stereotypes' were a bit skew...especially if you could see what I have (not) knitted so far!)

Well, Christmas One and Two went right by and every November I would blow the dust off my project and start on it again with a ferocious appetite thinking that this year was THE YEAR! I would magically find more free time and dedicate it all to the mosaic. Rrrrright!

Then came Christmas '08! Mwah-ah-ah. I blew the dust off the mosaic, found all the old tiles, unclogged the tip of my glue, took out my nippers that now had cracked plastic around the handles, and got to work. I realized that my brother was coming here to visit and that if I could get this done, I wouldn't have to pay shipping and handling on the beast! (Oh yeah, and the fact I owed him some major back-ordered gift giving for him and his wife!

So...

in all her wonder...

I present to you:

(and yes, I did have 3 band aids on one hand at the same time)

...drum roll please...

THE MOSAIC 2008 (minus the grout...I'm still waiting on a good pic of it with grout)

(it helps to scoot back and look at it from a distance!)

One Year Old(er), One Day Late!

HOW EXCITING! My 'Baby Kai' (nephew) is a whopping ONE YEAR OLD as of yesterday! In honor of Kai, here are some beautiful pics of him I snapped at Christmas!

I must say that he has the MOST innocent big baby 'I didn't do that'/'Who? Me?'/'Please give me a cookie' eyes/expressions ever! I'm sure he rules his 'crib' back in Phoenix!

Well Hello 2009!

First, I must apologize for my absence of blogs lately. My blogging immune system was attacked by the 'Family in Town, Christmas, Birthdays, Travel to Colorado, Plan a Wedding, Start a New Job, Get a Cold' virus. This is a terrible virus that literally consumes your every waking hour. Once it has shut down your life, it then attacks you in your sleep as well.

So I am bypassing the, 'A Few of my Favorite (and not so favorite) Things' Christmas blog, the 'What Happened to Dick Clark?' New Year's blog, the 'Still on a Diet for my Wedding' New Year's Resolution blog, and then also the random ranting of 'I DO still love my dog?' blog.

I promise to give you in 2009, more up to date blogs that are better than ALL of last year's combined! (snicker, snicker)

No, Thank YOU Amazon.com!

I just had to post about my customer service experience at Amazon. For those of you that thought a positive customer service experience was something that was only talked about in folk lore books, well then read on my friend!

Last Friday I ordered the most adorable pair of shoes for my nephew Kai on Amazon.com. The brand name is 'See Kai Run' and they have this cute little red 'K' on the side. How cute is that for a kid whose name is Kai?

Well, me being the best Aunt there is, (but not yet possessing a ton of 'motherly' skills such as knowing that one cry means, 'I want a bottle' and the other means, 'Change me!' ), did not know what size of shoes to order for him. I called his dad and of course the reply I got was:

'Uhhh, he only has one pair right now. Uh, I think maybe a 3 sounds right? Well, I don't know, he just started walking. I'd say they are about 3 inches long (referencing of course Kai's feet, not the shoes).'

So, after much consulting with many mom's in the office, I decide on a size 4 for him. I placed my order at Amazon.com and was happy knowing that they would arrive on Dec. 23rd with plenty of time for me to ogle them first and then wrap them up pretty like!

Then, my sister calls me and is talking about toddler shoe sizes and I start getting a panic attack. She starts convincing me that since they are soooo cute, maybe a 5 would be better so he can grow into them. Duh! What was I thinking? I go into panic mode immediately. I think to myself, 'But I already ordered them! And Dec. 23rd! Oh no!' I immediately get online to dreadfully search for a customer service number.

To my surprise, I find the 1-800 number without really even trying. Not only that, but I just typed my cell number into this little pop up box and seconds later THEY are calling ME! ROCK ON! I am quickly connected with Nice Amazon Lady (A. She is a live person! B. I didn't have to listen to a single options menu. C. Nor did I find myself in my cube shouting, 'OTHER! I said O-TH-ER! Speak to a representative! SPEAK. TO. A. REP.RE.SEN.TA.TIVE. Hello? Hellloooo?')

Nice Amazon Lady did the following that made me post this blog:

A. She commented on how cute my purchase was (I of course then had to tell her it was for my cute nephew who's name is Kai!).

B. She told me what all she was getting from Amazon.com for her nieces and nephews AND let me in on some other gifts that were popular among the Cool Aunts Club that she had been helping out on the phone as well.

C. She cancelled my transaction, posted the new one, and then said, 'I am going to try and checkout for you so that you don't have to do anything at all.'

ME: 'What? Did you say NOTHING? As in all I have to do is sit here and continue having a wonderful conversation with a complete stranger who is just too cool and friendly? I'm not sure how to react...I think now is when I'm supposed to yell at you and then aren't you supposed to 'accidentally' get disconnected from me?'

NICE AMAZON LADY: (Laughs) 'I get that all the time!'

D. She wasn't able to Check Out for me, but all I had to do was go to My Shopping Cart and there it was! My new order was sitting there waiting on me to hit Continue and VWAH-LAH, that was it! AND, I still had Dec. 23rd as a delivery date!

E. She wished me luck in my shopping endeavours for Christmas.

F. She didn't ramble off some memorized, cheesy line at the end that went something like this: (In a monotone voice with a steady fast beat) 'Thank you for choosing Amazon.com Kristy for all your shopping needs is there anything else I can do for you and if not thank you so much and you have a merry Christmas would you like to participate in our survey now please press 1 or I will disconnect okay thank you Kristy for shopping with us today ma'am.'

(G. I hate it when people call me 'ma'am'.)

H. She simply said, 'Okay thanks. Have a good one! Bye.' As if she was just my friend hanging up, that's all!

So thank YOU Amazon.com for the renewed hope that EXCELLENT customer service skills do still exist and that online shopping IS fast, convenient, and fun!

The Christmas Countdown

As the days are narrowing down and The Main Event is drawing nearer, I am working diligently on all my projects to get them done. The great thing about having this blog is that I can post some pics of what I'm doing in hopes that I won't feel quite so bad about not hitting the gym at all this week. You see, I can now rationalize it by thinking to myself, 'But my people (that would be you all reading this) are counting on me to get this done and post pics and blog about it.' Even though my ass and thighs are saying, 'Help me! Help! Can't. take. much. more! Need. oxygen. or...(gasp for air) elssssee....' Okay, that was weird because for a minute there I really was having that conversation in my make believe world with my thighs. They really don't talk though!


Okay, well here is a pic of the project I finished up Monday night. My dad is into hot rods and is fixing one up of his own right now (slowly). So I furiously searched the web for pictures of car emblems from old hot rods, downloaded them, played with them in Photoshop, got a little help from our graphic designer here at work (in-house marketing totally has it's perks...thanks a TON Ashley!) and came out with this final product:

The 'l' is off a Falcon, the 'o' is from a Chevrolet, the 'u' is off a sweet looking Mustang, and the 'x' is from a Galaxy. (I have never heard of a Galaxy so I cannot attest to it's authenticity as being dubbed a 'hot rod', but it looked like an older car and had an 'x' in it so I went with it.) I picked the frame up from the Big Lots by my house that is going out of business and has everything 20% off. The frame is what makes it 'girly' enough for my stepmom to approve of hanging it in the house. Double Bonus Round Score!

On Tuesday and Wednesday nights, I moved on to baking:

On the line-up this year:

• Chocolate covered pretzels
• Coconut Macaroons
• English Toffee
• Pretzel Rolo Sandwiches
• Chocolate Covered PB Ball
• Ritz Cracker & PB Sandwiches covered in Chocolate

I didn't get my No Bake Cookies made, nor did I get a Pumpkin Roll made for this weekend. We shall see if that happens or not, but I'm kind of 'Pumpkin Rolled' out because I made 6 this year for Thanksgiving. Plus, pumpkin is more of a November flavor in my mind than a December flavor. To me, December is all about cinnamon!


And finally, last night I started in on the wrapping:

If you haven't noticed, I am in LOVE with the color Purple!

Toodles for now! And for those of you doing The Countdown of your own: May you score UBER bargains, NOT burn your finger on the oven rack, get everything done on time, and still show up to your parties in that little black strappy number, those stiletto heels, your dazzling hair-do, and a smile that could just kill so that you leave people thinking to themselves:

'How does she do it?!?!'

(insert jaw drop, gasp, or confused head shake here!)

How NOT to Earn One's Business

Below is an email I received today at work after inquiring about my interest in a leadership seminar:


Hi Kristy,

Thanks for your previous interest in our event Leadership Across the Generations. The event is appropriate for Vice Presidents of Human Resources. I apologize we won’t be able to accommodate you.

I hope you’ll enjoy a quiz from one of our publications, “Motivating the ‘What’s In It For Me?’ Workforce”. Separately I’ve attached the answers.

Kind regards,


Bernadette Walter
Corporate Sales


What? A quiz? You slap that in my face and then have the kahunas to attach a quiz...which I took and passed with FLYING colors...Thank. You. Very. Much! Okay, I will admit that my inquiring email did have my signature on it which posted my title and which obviously is not a VP of any sort. However, who's to say that perhaps I have more than one title, more than one job, own my own company, enquiring for a VP, or maybe I am actually Donald Trump posing as someone else to avoid the publicity? Huh?

Well Ms. Bernadette Walter, sadly enough, you will never know. According to your little quiz, I already know everything there is to know about your seminar topic. And no, I will not be a guest speaker for you...EVER!

Grandma Attack

A recent phone conversation between my sister and I while we were at work:

...blah, blah, blah about whatever the reason was for the call
(Insert random change of important topic to something not so important)
(Which means neither of us are really thrilled about hanging up and getting back to our work)

AND THEN...

Me: Hey, you know that time when we were kids and shopping at the mall with grandma?
Sis: Yeah?
Me: And she all of a sudden stopped in the middle of the mall?
Sis: (Laughing) Oh, yeah, that was hilarious!
Me: Okay, I'm having that...gotta go!
Sis: Oh weird, me too! *CLICK*
Me: *CLICK*

Let me explain myself and our secret 'I can't say I'm about to shit myself because people here at work will hear me tell you' code.

The holidays always find me reminiscing about what makes Christmas so special to me. One of those fond, oh so fond, memories is the time Grandma took my Sis and I (dragged me) shopping to the local mall. This was always a big deal for Grandma because she lived in a much smaller town that had only a Wal-Mart, TSC (for those of you city folk that is short for Tractor Supply Company) and oddly enough I think a Buckle on Main St.

As I reminisce, let me take you one step deeper into my memories and tell you that Grandma was notorious for carrying ginormous purses that could host a small immigrant for at least a week or so before running out of supplies. She was also notorious for clutching said purse with a white-knuckled-death-grip while mom drove all around 'the city' when she came to visit and take her shopping. (Which ALWAYS consisted of a stop at Merle Norman and the SAS Store for some new shoes).

On this particular Christmas Shopping Trip, Grandma wanted to go to the mall. The last place anyone wants to be two weeks before Christmas on a Saturday. The crowds, the noise, the crying babies, waiting in lines, uggghhh! Now, you know how most malls have an 'assumed' flow of traffic even though there is no written rule? And that during the holidays, doing anything to stop this 'assumed' flow of mass chaos could result in a real life trampling of someone? Okay, so now that the setting is painted for you, here is what ensued on that dreaded day:

Grandma: (STOPS DEAD IN HER TRACKS! Hand clutching said refugee bag, eyes focused intently ahead as if in a trance. She grabs my sister's arm with her other hand, stopping all of us dead in our tracks. With lips pursed together and in a voice as low as a whisper) Shelly, I can't move.
Sis: What?!?
Grandma: I'm serious. Don't move. I can't move. I gotta shit. Where is the nearest bathroom?
Me: Grandma, we're in the, mawwwwlllll! They don't have a lot of options here for restrooms.
Sis: (Noticing the seriousness in Grandma's voice and the said 'incident' that we were about to have on our hands.) Okay Grandma, it's okay. I see a bathroom just up ahead a ways on the other side. It's not far. We can go use that one.
Grandma: I can't! I gotta shit. I'm gonna shit myself right now. Oh my god, what do I do?
(Still assuming death grips on said bag and said sister) (People still trying to plow us over and giving us dirty looks for interrupting 'assumed' flow of traffic.)
Grandma: You don't understand! (Panic beginning to set in) I gotta shit! What do I do? I can't move?...

Well, long story a little shorter but not much, Grandma eventually made it too the restroom that day without down right shitting herself (I say that because I'm sure there was still some damage done to those panties of hers). However, I do think there was a little bit of lost dignity in it all. And from that day on the phrase, 'Grandma Attack', has a WHOLE NEW meaning to it in our family.

Thank you Grandma for the fond Christmas memories! And let's not forget about the sequined Christmas sweaters, matching earrings, great food, the PERFECT gifts, and multiple decorated trees with Santas all over and the train that ran under the tree!